Currently This Is It By Michael Jackson This is It (Orchestra Version) see related

Just Went Blank

Currently Move Along By All American Rejects Straitjacket Feeling see related

I suppose...

that I will take the advice of others and just let this one go. It's just that everything happened so quickly. The Ex used to teach in NY before she was laid off. Then she came to DC. Having few options, she was always asking me if I would do her a favor or two. Would I store this, can I help move this, can she crash at my place, edit her resume, etc... ok maybe it was more than a favor or two...

Anyway, I noticed that The Ex Best Friend started popping up in random places. He knew more about her whereabouts than I did. He knew her address before I did, and sometimes their conversations just wouldn't add up. It was weird. Then out of the blue, The Ex tells me that we shouldn't talk anymore. While unexpected, I wasn't exactly opposed to the idea. There had been some weird tension between us lately, and it had become increasingly evident that we just couldn't maintain a true friendship at this time in our lives. So, I mean, we stopped talking. That was just about a month ago.

Then it got really weird. The Ex Best Friend would let things slip about what The Ex was doing, and I would just think How does he know that? Other friends of mine would see them around the city: out at dinner, going to the movies, just driving together, etc. and they would text me or call me. "Hey did you know that The Ex and The Ex Best Friend are out... together... late at night?" And I would just shrug it off. Actually the strange thing was that The Ex Best Friend was talking about taking a girl to the Madea movie but wouldn't tell me which girl he was taking, and this is a guy that likes to talk until he fills in all the details, and then I find out later that he took The Ex. I brought it up the next day and he immediately changed the subject.

What's funny is that I told them to their faces that they would end up seeing each other. Well, to be real, I told them that they were going to start sleeping together. They became friends about a year ago when he was going through something with his then-girlfriend and he would always hit her up for a female perspective. Because let's face it, I am not the most sensitive of compatriots. *shrug*

And so, it is what it is. The Ex Best Friend fits in with my two other close friends. There's Army Boy, who has managed to turn every friendly conversation I have with a girl into a competition, and Swagalot, who probably thinks that I'm pretty much here to serve as his enabler. With friends like these...

Two Statements...and a Question

Statements:

1. I suppose, more or less, that I'm back on Xanga. Hi.

2. I'm thinking of a new username.

Questions:

1. Exactly how should one feel when one's best friend begins "seeing" your ex-girlfriend, AND you know about it despite his efforts to hide it?

Copout Entry

I felt like adding something, but I didn't really feel like engaging in original thought. So I'm just going to copy and paste my "25 things about me" from facebook. And then go take a nap.

25 things about me

1.       I don’t like going home because I don’t think there’s anything there for me. I left when I was 16 and I’ve never really looked back.

2.       Relationships scare the hell out of me. See #5 and #7.

3.       I hate when people are hungry. I went to Burger King the other day and I was about to be upset because I thought this homeless dude was going to ask me for some money when I walked in. It turns out that he had a coupon for a free double whopper if I bought a double whopper value meal. He hadn’t eaten in a couple of days. It broke my heart. I bought him enough food to last like three days and gave him $20.

4.       I have NO idea when a woman is interested in me. None. I’m oblivious to things like that. So for anyone who was ever interested in me and thought I was beating around the bush, I really had no idea. But even when I knew…

5.       I am riddled with insecurities. Insecurities and odd idiosyncrasies.

6.       I get asked a lot why most of my friends are younger than I am. No, I’m not Peter Pan. One, it’s a by-product of my educational decisions. Two, I’ve never forgotten what it’s like to be younger and to want someone who’ll just listen to you. Three, those relationships are simpler.

7.       I keep people at a distance because I’ve always felt like no one would like me if they really knew me. Not…normal people anyway. See #5.

8.       After I graduated from undergrad, I briefly contemplated a career as an MMA fighter. Then I saw this America Undercover special where I saw how they were all hooked on painkillers and looked like the walking dead when they weren’t fighting. I went to law school.

9.       I hated law school.

10.   I like Physics, but only theoretical Physics. I’m a huge Stephen Hawking fan. The only reason I didn’t follow up in college was that in order to do what I wanted to do, I had to go through years and years of stuff I had absolutely no interest in.

11.   I love: superhero comic books, science fiction, and westerns. It’s about the only impact my father’s ever had on my life. At the same time…

12.   I need my superheroes to have problems. They have to be moody, haunted characters. Which, as much as I love Superman, I’m a huge fan of characters like the Green Lantern, Batman, Spiderman…

13.   I used to read a lot for fun. Well not for fun. I started off reading because I was forced to. Then it became fun. Then… I started staring at the wall a lot. At this point in time, I’d rather not even have to think. About anything. I doubt that I could carry on an intellectual conversation about paint drying.

14.   I didn’t plan to wrestle in college. I wanted to play hockey and/or fence. I didn’t know what an HBCU was. Silly me.

15.   At this point in time, I have no intention of becoming a lawyer. Ever.

16.   I’ve never had a nightmare. Ever. I seem not to believe in the possibility of having a bad dream.

17.   I used to want to be a fireman. Not as a kid, because back then I wanted to be a Harvard trained lawyer. I mean a couple of years ago. But then I found out that everyone wanted to be a fireman, and so they only give the test every three years. I had just missed it.

18.   I am not afraid of commitment, per se. I’m really not. However, refer to #7.

19.   I am not ashamed of being a huge fan of the following artists: Ray J., Jesse McCartney, Robin Thicke, Hanson, Snow (post Informer), and Madonna.

20.   Over the years, I’ve had a…rather unique relationship with a girl who ran track. She taught me a lot about myself, and I wasn’t always the best friend I could have been, but she’s always been there. Thanks, AM. (“But even still, through floss and frill, you seem to keep it true, I never will let anyone try to paint your face blue!” LOL.)

21.   I’ve never thought I had any true talents. This isn’t a self-deprecating thing. I really think I’m talentless.

22.   I never wanted a roommate. Then came Lee Bruner. I ended up with a roommate for two years and a brother for life.

23.   I used to want to make my living writing poetry. Then novels. Then I quit writing. No real reason. It was just something I gave up. I leave it to better people. (But maybe one day…)

24.   I still have absolutely no idea why anyone would want to date me. It confuses me to the point where I think women who want to date me have something wrong with them. Which probably explains #4.

25.   When I was a kid, I went to a friend’s birthday party and he had a dance contest. I tried to win, but I needed a partner, and no one wanted to dance with the fat kid. I’ve never danced since. And no, try as you will, you’re not going to get me to dance. So please don’t try.

Currently Tha Carter III By Lil Wayne Dr. Carter see related

Staring down the barrel...

The story really begins before it begins. It doesn't begin with me walking to the Metro, but rather with me coming back from the Metro with a new television for my bedroom. And realizing that I needed a DVD player to go with it. So, braving the elements once again, out I went to Best Buy. About three or four blocks away from where I live I notice the car. It's full, and it's funny because the first thing I notice is that their faces are all covered. I think to myself, "It just can't be that cold INSIDE the car." And out they came.

Three people jumped out of the car and attacked me. And it really...wasn't a problem. As soon as the first guy touched me, reflexes took over. Muscle memory. They were teenagers and they hit like girls. It wasn't a fair fight, even though one of them had a baton or something and the other had a bat. But...then the fourth guy came out of nowhere and put the barrel of his gun right on my face. "Stop. Give it up." And I did. There's that split second, the one where the adrenaline is still pumping and you think 'I can take him.' Luckily...I calmed that feeling. I still think I would have won, but I figured that there was no need to take that chance. So fine. Here's my iPod, little thugs. Here's the Google phone that I JUST bought. Fine, rip the watch off my wrist. you can stop hitting me now. I've long since stopped fighting back. The one with the baton hit me in the face, and I know I was hit with the gun a few times, but that was that.

"Where's the money? Give me the money?" I just stayed silent on that one. And the one with the gun told the others to check me for money, but they weren't coming anywhere near me. I'm sure it had something to do with what happened the last time they touched me. And they hopped in their car with their ill-gotten gains and drove away. "Don't cry now," they said. Cry? No one's crying. But for the gun, you'd have an imprint of my Adidas where the sun don't shine. As it stands now, you all left me with a black eye from a cheap shot. Grr...

It's funny. I was just having a conversation with someone about what it means to have a President of Color, and my position was that it wouldn't mean anything to the average person. Changes at the top take years to trickle to the bottom, if they ever do. Wednesday isn't a new day. It's just Wednesday. And everyone called me a cynic. Everyone wanted me to be more positive. "A black man is President," they said. "Anything is possible," they wanted me to believe. And then four black teenagers assaulted and robbed me at gunpoint at 6:30 in the evening on my way to Metro. No thank you, sir. Please, keep the change.